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Emir Sanusi and regulation of polygamy

Feb 23

The Emir of Kano, Lamido Sanusi, recently made a valuable point about the social problems engendered by forced marriages and polygamy. A number of men, he noted, take more wives than they can provide for, breed children they cannot dignifiedly raise, and their unrestrained loins eventually becomes a source of social menace. Sanusi says he will be proposing a law to regulate the practice of polygamy and other social ills in his territory. While the scope of the law Sanusi proposes are superfluous (some of them are already covered in the constitution), and...

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The senate wants to reap without sowing

Feb 16

Two weeks ago, a Nigerian newspaper reported the fantastic news that a Nigerian professor, Maduike Ezeibe of Michael Okpara University of Agriculture in Abia state, had discovered a drug for the treatment of HIV/AIDS. I almost fell off my chair as I read the Vice Chancellor of the University, Prof. Francis Otunta, “confirming” the discovery and claiming the breakthrough was a culmination of years of “scientific research” by the University. The VC also said Prof. Ezeibe had presented the drug to the University Senate and Council, and explained his research...

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Buhari and the prophets of Baal

Feb 09

They prayed to Baal from morning until noon, shouting “Baal, answer us!” But there was no sound, and no one answered…. At noon Elijah began to make fun of them…. The afternoon passed, and the prophets continued to act like this until it was time for the evening sacrifice. But no voice was heard; Baal did not answer…. 1 Kings 18:26-29. In the past couple of months, I have read a number of media interviews, newspaper columns, and social media updates by former ardent supporters of President Muhammadu Buhari. They all have a few things in common: they...

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Big Brother: A tale of two dystopias

Feb 02

Since the inauguration of Donald Trump as president of the United States thirteen days ago, the country has been hyper-animated. As a candidate people thought Trump’s extreme promises were empty threats he was merely throwing around to solicit the votes of the bigoted. Now that he has been sworn in and imbued with ginormous powers, America and the world are tied to his quirks. He has been president for only two weeks but his notoriety is exhausting. In less than two weeks he has poked a middle finger to women’s healthcare issues in both the US and in...

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Why we wish our presidents dead

Jan 26

When Gen. Sani Abacha died in June 1998, I was one of those who took to the streets to celebrate our nation’s liberation from his murderous grip. These days I look back at that infamous Monday and wonder the point of rejoicing at someone’s death when none of us is beyond mortality. Abacha’s death, we know, resolved a conundrum and cleanly freed us from the bonds with which he held us. Also, given the timing of his death it did in fact seem God heard Nigerians’ cries for liberation. However, death by natural causes is no punishment, it is one of life’s...

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“Pretty Mike” as a Nigerian parable

Jan 20

After weeks of chinwagging over Pretty Mike (Mike Eze-Nwalie Nwogu) and the stunt he pulled – putting two masked women on a dog leash and taking them to public events- the Police finally had him stopped. As media report hinted, it was the governor of Lagos state, Akinwumi Ambode, that asked that Pretty Mike be picked up for such an offensive treatment of women. The immediate former Lagos state Police Commissioner, Fatai Owoseni, said the case would be treated as a “criminal investigation” because what Pretty Mike did was not merely a crime but also “a...

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The “war” against Daddy G.O.

Jan 12

On Saturday, when Pastor Enoch Adeboye asked his church members to become active members of political parties, participate at local levels, and come 2019, the church would use its population to influence the political tide, he was doing two things: one, winding the national Christian public against their leaders; two, sending a message to the political class that he would no longer play coy in the political game. Nigerian Christians are already actively involved in politics and one of pastor Adeboye’s own, Professor Yemi Osinbajo, is Vice President. His...

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New Year Prophecies and Other Troubles With Nigeria

Jan 05

One of the rituals of the Christmas/new year celebrations I have come to look forward to over the years is the gale of prophecies that emanate from Nigerian men of God. I enjoy watching the regular cycle of these divine annunciations that are supposedly channeled to this planet through the antennae of the prophet’s body get denounced by non-fulfilment. It is also worthy of note that considering how people now rip prophets and prophecies apart, prophets like Pastor Enoch Adeboye are now being cautious about what they push out. Pastor Adeboye’s 2016 prophecy...

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What does Boko Haram’s “defeat” mean?

Dec 29

The news that the terrorist group, Boko Haram, has been “effectively” defeated was as satisfying as watching a convoluted drama resolved with a deux ex machina turn in the plot. The inchoate resolution evokes past incidences of similar premature announcements of Boko Haram defeat. If the Nigerian authorities’ history on Boko Haram is anything to go by, this announcement is a mere cliff-hanger; more episodes are coming. In the past weeks, the Army has suffered major losses in the Boko Haram war. This year alone, there have been reports of missing troops and...

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Before MMM, Nigeria were already greedy and vulnerable

Dec 22

Over and over again, we have been admonished not to make fun of poor folks who were dupes of the now faltering Ponzi scheme, MMM. We have been enjoined to be empathic, to spare those who have their money trapped in the scheme our sharpened tongues and the smug I-told-you-sos. We have been rightly reminded that Nigeria is currently experiencing recession pangs; the times are so hard it feels like the Sani Abacha years. Nigeria is in poor shape, people are desperate and therefore vulnerable and in such a situation, they say, it is only fair to pity fellow Nigerians...

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